


Teach you how to scream at plants

by Tovarich



Series: Good Omens Celebration 2020 [16]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Crowley is Good With Kids (Good Omens), Crowley's Plants (Good Omens), Good Omens Celebration 2020, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:29:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24497965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tovarich/pseuds/Tovarich
Summary: Day 16 prompt for the Good Omens Celebration : far futureCrowley was outside, taking care of his plants, making sure they didn't get any ideas about having spots or brown leaves. He felt a light tug on his shirt. Turning around, he found himself face to face with two intrigued children. A boy and a girl who couldn't have been older than eight looked at him curiously.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Good Omens Celebration 2020 [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1727137
Comments: 6
Kudos: 60
Collections: Good Omens Celebration





	Teach you how to scream at plants

Crowley and Aziraphale had left London about ten years after the apocalypse-that-wasn't. They found a little cottage in a village and literally fell in love with the place. It felt and looked like home, a place to start a new life together. There was a large garden at the back, they even planted an apple tree shortly after moving. The village's kids all loved to come by; Aziraphale always offered them sweets, cakes, biscuits, and Crowley was always willing to help them with their homework or answer whatever question they had, even questions their parents refused to answer or told them they would understand when they'd be older. Their parents hadn't been too fond of the newcomers at first. They didn't like their children spending so much time around two weird men, one who always offered them food and another who constantly wore sunglasses and had a snake tattoo on his temple. But they ended up warming up to them after some time.

It was a beautiful day, in the beginning of Summer. The trees were in bloom, Crowley's plants looked lush and green, the flowers releasing their sugary perfume. This earthly garden looked like the Garden where he first met Aziraphale. Crowley was outside, taking care of his plants, making sure they didn't get any ideas about having spots or brown leaves. He felt a light tug on his shirt. Turning around, he found himself face to face with two intrigued children. A boy and a girl who couldn't have been older than eight looked at him curiously.

"Why are you screaming at the plants?" The girl asked with a small pout and a confused frown.

Crowley chuckled and beckoned them closer. When they were kneeling beside him in front of the plants, he explained, "I read somewhere that talking at plants helped them grow more beautiful. It seems to work, don't you think?"

"But," the boy said, his head tilted to the side, "you're not talking to them, you're screaming."

"Uhu, Ethan's right," the girl nodded, looking extremely serious the way only children could.

Crowley felt a fond smile tug at his lips. He loved children, he loved how they always asked questions and kept on asking until they were satisfied with the answer. He really didn't understand how parents could ever get bothered by the incessant questioning; Crowley found it rather endearing and fascinating.

"Maybe it's just because I'm mean, what do you think?" Crowley answered, trying not to let his smile become too big.

The girl frowned even deeper and shook her head.

"And what is the name of this young lady who seems to have such strong opinions?"

"My name is Joyce!" They little girl beamed. "And you're not mean! Mean people don't have flowers because they only like to destroy things!"

The world was so simple in a child's mind. The good and the evil were strictly separated by an impassable wall. It was all clearly defined and unmistakable. Crowley like the innocence too, it was something the world often lacked, and it was refreshing to find some of it in a child's eyes.

"Alright," Crowley looked at both kids, "if I'm not mean, maybe I just enjoy screaming at plants."

"Why?" Ethan asked, looking just as confused as Joyce.

"Uhhh, because when you're an adult you get angry sometimes, but you can't scream at people. So, I scream at plants. They don't mind and it makes them grow better." Crowley wasn't sure that plants didn't mind being screamed at, since they seemed to be extremely scared of him, but he wasn't going to tell that to the two brown haired kids. "And uhhh, it's very funny, screaming at plants. You should try!" Crowley added quickly.

He simply couldn't tell two innocent kids that he terrorised his plants so that they would be pretty. They wouldn't like that answer and they would probably hate Crowley for that. He hated lying to children, but he didn't see another way out of this.

"Can we try?" Ethan and Joyce asked, jumping in excitement.

Crowley let out a sigh of relief. "Yeah of course. I'll teach you how to scream at plants so that you'll have the most beautiful flowers of the village!"

The children giggled, screaming at the poor plants to grow better, Crowley encouraging them between bursts of laughter.

Aziraphale came out of the house, bringing biscuits and lemonade. "I see this wily old serpent taught you his secret technique," he smiled. "The poor dears, as if one person screaming at them wasn't already enough."

"Nooo!" Both children shouted, "you mustn't show them that you're soft, otherwise they won't grow well!"

Aziraphale laughed. "Sadly, they already know I'm soft."

The two children stayed a few hours, playing in the garden, picking apples and cherries, laughing loudly under the sun. They only left when it was time for them to go home for dinner, waving at Crowley and Aziraphale. This was everything the two beings had ever dreamed of: a quiet life together, a garden, a lot of books, children running around, eating sweets and asking questions. This was the perfect life they feared they would never get. And now, it was finally theirs, it had been for a few years. They were happier than they thought they ever could be.

"Would you help me set the table outside, dear?" Aziraphale asked, tenderly kissing Crowley. "I prepared a delicious grilled chicken and an apple pie. I'm sure you'll love it!"

"Of course, angel," Crowley smiled, going inside.


End file.
